"Summer breeze, makes me feel fine,
Blowin through the jasmine in my mind."
~ Seals & Crofts ~
Always something a little bittersweet about the end of summer. I get that unintentionally warm, nostalgic pang in my chest.
Like maybe I didn't eat enough S'MORES. Luckily, there's still time to change your life. You're killin' me, Smalls. I don't know what happened to me. I am ALL THINGS s'mores this summer. Can't get enough.
I didn't get to meet Jonah Hill. He's adorable.
Go for a walk, wash your hands often and come do my homework for me. Words to live by.
"Life flies by, and it's easy to get lost in the blur. In adolescence, it's 'how do I fit in?' In your 20s, it's 'what do I want to do?' In your 30s, 'is this what I'm meant to do?' I think the trick is living the questions. Not worrying so much about what's ahead but rather sitting in the grey area - being ok with where you are."
~ Chris Pine ~
And in your 50s, 'What the hell was I just doing?' Thank you, Chris for not mentioning that part.
If we regret the past or long for the future, we're robbing ourselves of today. Of this moment. This progress. These friendships.
I have to remind myself that it's very often more than ok to sit on the porch in a cool chair, drink some sweet tea (best EVER) and enjoy the breaths we're given.
And then I remember I have homework due and my scrubs are dirty and Vikings doesn't start until 2015.
Do as I SAY, kids, not as I DO.
"The sea does not reward those who are too anxious, too greedy, or too impatient. One should lie empty, open, choiceless as a beach - waiting for a gift from the sea."
~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh ~
"It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart."
~ Yakov Smirnoff ~
There's always an opportunity
Be nice in MINNESOTA don'tcha know.
it really only takes one person and one act.
try it today
and sleep well tonight.
"We can never know about the days to come
but we think about them anyway.....
Anticipation, anticipay-ay-tion....it's making me wait
It's keeping me way-yay-yay-iting..."
~ and SING it, Sister Carly
This should probably be a Friday Fav post but.....I can't take it. So excited to head to Colorado in a couple weeks. Tons of fun packed into 5 short days. (The days seeeem shorter because of the altitude. Lack of oxygen to the brain cells catapults me across the common sense line.)
If I knew how to say, "Hey, avocado pork burrito! Come jump up in my face." In espanol, you better believe I would say it. I would yell it embarrassingly loud from the street.
and then wait for it....
...and then pay for it.
Yep! Gonna lug that big ol' last night's burrito up the incline. It won't be pretty but it won't be impossible and that's what counts.
Then heading over to the west side for my favorite morning food. Yesssss, the amazing chocolate croissant. And I so wish I didn't even KNOWWWWWW. I am NOT hiking that hill twice.
"....and stay right here
'cuz these are the good ol' days"
a story of hope, sunshine and humanity
When we value ourselves based on how much we make, how we look & what other people think of us, we’ll never amount to much & always come up short. or fat.
It’s only when we get pretty on the inside, in the heart – which comes by serving others – that we will ever feel like we belong.
Like we’re enough.
Sometimes it’s within the most mundane of moments that we’re reminded of our human-ness and the whole sum of reasons God puts us on this earth. I received a mundane moment gift during one of the last times I took my dad to a dialysis treatment. Imagine you’re at the fair rolling up to the Tunnel of Doom where the big WHY ME sign is glowing and the doors clang shut behind you.
Welcome to kidney dialysis.
The Big D.
Dialysis really gets down to the drudgery of living. Yes, it’s life saving and it’s a blessing and it’s a privilege afforded to the more fortunate of souls. It’s also dirty and depressing. Blood being removed from 30 people in a big treatment room doesn’t rank on anyone’s Top 10 Things to See list. Dialysis hurts sometimes. Techs have bad days, ports get infected, veins collapse, some people don’t come back next time…it just hurts. It makes you cold when your blood is removed from your veins, spun through the giant cotton candy machine and put back in your body. Your blood. Only different. And yet, for 18 months, 3 times a week for 5 hours….that was Papa Bill’s hangout.
I was leaving the building after getting my dad comfie and situated and had to push through the front doors (dirty, nasty germ infected doors) and the weather hit me like an oven. Ugh. So hot in Vegas. The streets melt and shimmer in your face. You pick out clothes based on back sweat showing or not.
It's. Just. So. Hot. The sun is always shining.
Oy vey. Always with this sun.
Does Mother Nature not know my dad is dying? Is God not even noticing me or giving me credit for keeping it all together every time I tuck my dad’s blankets around his little legs and make sure his feet are covered and warm and make sure he can reach his water and his medicine for his blood pressure and his lunch I pack for him…
So that’s me, dragging it out the front doors, eyes to the ground mind you so I don’t step on anything sticky or ishy, and I hear “Excuse me, is that the sun?” I stopped and turned to the right of the door. A guy in a wheelchair had finished treatment and been wheeled outside by a tech to wait for his bus ride home. His back was to the sun. I walked around in front so he could see me. He asked me again, “Is that the sun? Where is the sun?” Aaaaahhh, mystery solved my blind friend. I said “Nahhh, man the sun is behind you. Would you like me to turn you towards it?” His grin lit my world.
If you’ve ever heard the million watt smile described….that was it.
I felt that smile physically. I got warm. (Not warm from the SUN activating my back sweat, but warm in my chest. In my heart.) At that moment in time, I swear the wheelchair handles were radioactive. A million, trillion little butterfly cells danced all around us. Bumping into each other, into us, into the wheelchair – there really almost wasn’t room for all that love and gratitude being shared by two people. He never stopped smiling. “Thank you! I LOVE the sun. I DO love the sun!”
The gift I received on gratitude is one I'll never forget.
How often do we forget to be grateful for the sun? For the routine, the mundane? Especially in a town where the sun shines all the time. It’s a reality check for us to walk through life with our feet touching the ground.
Newton says we hafta.
- But don’t let gravity affect your heartstrings.
- Don’t let the weather affect your temperament.
- Don’t let another affect your dreams or goals.
- And for Heaven’s sake, please don’t let fear or shyness prevent spontaneity.
You might miss the sun.
Soooo much to love about Fridays. I am one of those annoying people that thinks EVERYday is Friday. (*insert your favorite day of the week) That will be my favorite day from now on, too.
Trust me. I will love any day you pick.
To find out how an annoying person can get even more annoying, read this about 2 more times.
There ya go.
Well, I guess there IS something I don't love and that would be chips. But I have a friend that loooooves, as in, crazy loves potato chips so I knew this recipe = no brainer for Deb. And yes, I'm patting my back whilst I type this post because I made a big batch and hustled them over to her house. Along with her Christmas present.
In June. Because that's how we roll. I'm UNpatting my back now.
I love flowers and gardening. This time of year things are so fresh and green.
Ask me in August. Nuh uh. As in, really, don't ask me. I'll probably be all country soaking in my horse trough or something ridiculous that won't be my fault because my brain is 115 in the shade.
I will never again take for granted the power of cooking a PERFECT hard boiled (or soft) egg.
Loving this cookbook and it's less expensive than cooking school. Way.
The only place drama belongs is in the sky.
Spring & early summer in Texas makes for some beautiful skies. Storms, clouds, rainbows, unicorns...oh no she didn't. That's enough.
THIS list cracked me up. It's Friday. Be careful and have a great weekend.
And then if you ARE that list or anywhere on it, you will need a BEST FRIEND.
"In the summer I wear shorts with a bright top and ankle boots or just sandals. I'll add a nice scarf, maybe a hat, some cool sunglasses. It's all about the accessories."
~ so sayeth a VS supermodel
Uh, and I'm all over here wearing sweat balls with Roseanne Roseanna Danna and raccoon mascara accessorizing with Moon Pies.
Let the real people of summer stand up and be counted I say.
**Ok, declared by me, but really - can you think of a BETTER day for a massage?
Friday the 13th massage times available!
Massage + Friday = YOUR lucky day
9:30 am, 2:15 pm, 3:30pm and 4:45pm
Click on the image for direct booking and visit the website for more info.
Don't let your luck run out!
"Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating; there is really no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather."
"The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once."
~ Albert Einstein
Could you imagine if all the fun, interesting stuff happened at the same time? Or in my case it's more like "Hey, what if all the dogs in the whole world were laying at your feet while you were working and had gas?" Nothing worse in the world. It's like 117 dogs are trapped in that tiny little ball of happy fur that cannot. get. any. closer. to. my. feet. Seriously?
Ok back to all the fun stuff happening AT ONCE.
1. Thrift Shopping when it's scary.
2. ACTIVITIES!!!!! I am SO doing this.
and making THESE. Who knew it would take 2 days? No wonderrrr they're so dee-lishi-moso.
*For the sake of educational purposes and uh, culture, I like to keep my posts bi-lingual whenever possible.
3. Grilled Pineapple. To all the folks that say..."So, how do you really KNOWWWW God is real?"
Eat these. Duh.
4. New Perfume
I'm sure it's been around FOREVER and I totally can't even pronounce it. Because I am a grown up, I say, "You know...the one that looks like the top of Barbie with no clothes on..." so there's that.
Also, while I was visiting my mom in Las Vegas a couple months ago, I picked up THIS on a little therapeutic shopping trip. You had me at jasmine and vanilla.
5. Pretty churches and road trips.
My poor husband has become used to me leaning out of the car and screaming
Same goes with him trying to eat something without me arranging the plate, moving his napkin, uh, moving HIM out of the shot...
Life is too short to blaze through it. Remember to slow down, breathe, take road trips, Sunday drives, practice yoga, wear perfume and lean WAY out of your car so you don't miss one single solitary great moment God is giving you.
Joy is meant to be shared.
Come see me next weekend and I'll share.
April Showers Bring May Flowers
"Don't know why, there's no sun up in the sky...
Okayyyyy so I love Billie Holiday as much as the next guy (she was named after me, dontcha know) but maybe we don't listen to her in the dead of yet another wintery mix week if we want to be cheered up. Also maybe don't listen to her when one of us doesn't know how to write a proper English sentence with correct structure that never endzzzz.
Just like winter in Dallas.
And really I just mentioned the winter in Dallas to create the Nor' Dakota snowstorm coming my way when my family in the REAL winter marathon reads this nonsense. I mean, seriously, IMHO, 35-45 degree winters are not that tough on the old constitution. As my grandparents would say...
I'm most def jumping on the plethoric winter citrus bus right about now. So tasty! I juiced up a quick pitcher of Ruby Red TEXAS grapefruits, blood oranges & navel oranges for a burst of flavor and COLOR in my fridge. On an immature aside for a moment...can I just SAYYYY whoever thought of the name blood orange must have been ... i dunno, crushing on Barnabas Collins or Edward Cullens. I don't really want to drink anything that even REMOTELY would make me think of blood. It's just so .... red anyway when my brain wants it to be orange. So there's one hurdle we're crossing already. Juice should not be complicated.
Neither should the names of fruits.
It's needs a sexy name like passion fruit. Taken. Darn.
How about rosy navel.
Uh, just no.
Make sure you check out this month's Fitness mag (Mar 14) and torch some winter doldrums (and calories) on the treadmill. So fun!
When your socks match your juice - more calories burned. TRUE fact.
"Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts." ~ Charles Dickens
"Think of your fellow man,
lend him a helping hand
put a little love in your heart..."
Remember those lyrics when you hear me crying tomorrow.
I met a friend at the gym this morning for some weight work. So you all know what I'm talking about. Today - strong like bull. Juggling my tennis shoes JUST FOR FUN. Grabbing my yoga bag & books, heading out to teach and walking backwards if I wanna.
Tomorrow - cannot. lift. mascara.
I worked arms today. Tried some new machines. Before you start thinking that I'm all that, let me share how it goes down for me at the gym. I walked up to a quiet machine and sat down, started muscling the bar around - wouldn't budge! 'What the heck?' I thought. Well, I actually thought someone left the 500 lb weight pin in the thing. Uh, nooooo. It had NO weights on it. Z.E.R.O. The bar was too heavy for the muscles I was isolating. Dork alert. The purpose of my post here (oh, IS there one, you ask?) is not to be intimidated by the gym. Read about new exercises and proper form, grab a friend or.....ask somebody to 'splain stuff sometimes. Seriously, it's only life. Have fun! What's the worst that can happen by being embarrassed at the gym?
You could be embarrassed at the grocery store, that's what.
Crazy cold day, grabbed my soy chai and headed into the store....oops. And I kind of mumbled a word that the little Girl Scout cookie table did NOT hear. Thank goodness. Hey, that would be an awesome badge! Real life word skill badges. Stuff you'll use every day as a grown up that spills hot drinks in the doorway of a busy store.
Back to the point of today's post.
This powdered Peanut Butter. 2 heaping tablespoons it tells you (50 cal, 1 g fat and 8 g protein). I've read about it but today's the first time I tried it. Peanut butter taste & protein without the fat? Girrrrl, I'm already in.
1 C Almond milk
1 C ice cubes
2 heaping Tbsp. powdered PB (I bought mine at Sprouts)
1 tsp. bee pollen
2 Tbsp. Spectrum Decadent Blend
Mix it all up in a blender. By far the easiest, quickest, yummiest smoothie I've had in a month of Sundays. Fillingggg. Low calorie (280) 8 g (healthy) fat and a respectable protein count (11) for a post workout meal or snack. I'm not a nutritionist but in my humble opinion I think we are a protein obsessed culture. Studies have shown high protein is ok on healthy kidneys but might cause unhealthy kidneys to work too hard and cause damage. Just my 2 cents and something to think about.
45 minute arm workout including a 10 minute warm-up incline session on the treadmill
followed by this smoothie
and not even whining yet.
"....and how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?"
I've been away for a while.
Away from my immediate family, my beloved friends, my writing and my office. My parents live in Las Vegas and my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer a couple years ago. As a lot of you know, I've spend the last 2 years visiting them for a week or two at a time - as often as I could. I am so very grateful for a life that affords that great privilege. My family's mac-n-cheese support, the patience & unwavering loyalty of my friends and clients....you all know there is no way I could sail this sea alone.
And it was a sea.
Feelings would ease in and lap gently on the fresh undisturbed edges of my mind. Reminding me through my meditation practice that renewal and preparation is a good thing. Allowing my brain and my heart to rest only helped me come back for more. Our spiritual practices do not hide us or save us or allow us to check-out. They strengthen us and fill us with willing hearts.
How do you say good-bye to such a gentle soul?
I'm not the first girl to lose her dad. I'm not the first woman to blast right into the sandwich generation. I'm certainly not the first daughter to meet her mother as a friend and understand the heartache she feels to lose a love of 54 years. I wasn't noble. I just showed up.
My dad taught me to ski.
We had a cabin in Leadville, CO. Early Goodwill decor. Mice found protection from the bitter cold in the couch cushions. The cabin floated on anti-freeze in the winter and 'NOBODY BETTER FLUSH THOSE DAMN TOILETS UNTIL THE HEAT KICKS IN.' It was gloriously dirty and drafty and we loved it.
My dad was a firm believer in getting your money's worth. Do you know to properly use your lift ticket it involves the whole 'first on - last off' ski lift theory? Yep. That's us. Last run of the day is not always a lot of fun. Sun going down, runs get icy, lonely chairs swing with no dance partners...but luckily my dad knew a shortcut down the mountain. Oh yay for dads! Memorable short cut down a surprise black diamond ice crusted CLIFF and of course I snotted and slid and cussed (on the inside) all the way down. And you know what my dad did? He waited at the bottom and cheered my whiny little butt all the way down. We stood together at the bottom and he looked back up the mountain and said, "Look what you just did. I knew you could." We laughed about that day until he died.
My dad taught me how to ride a bike.
At the top of a hill. Awesome, dad. One minute he's jogging along beside the handlebars of my shiny new ride...the next moment all I hear is his distant call, "Hold onnnnnnn, Josieeee" Uh, sure thing, pops. I got this. I saw traffic ahead and a fence to my right so I did what any gifted & talented kindergarten kid does - I took the fence. Scar on my leg to prove it which explains why my modeling days and contract with Cosmo were not meant to be. My mom was a little perturbed at him and I got lots of love and attention. Daughter win.
My dad loved to explore.
He loved to explore so much that we got lost in the Red Light district in Amsterdam going the wrong way on a one way street one time. Never a dull moment. He did love to travel. He was a career officer in the military and served in Vietnam. We lived all over when I was growing up. We camped and hiked and skied on Fodor's $5 a day. We only stopped at diners if the parking lot was full of 18 wheelers. "Truckers know where the best food is." We TOOK OUR OWN lunch skiing so we could save time and eat on the chair lift. We didn't take up unnecessary room camping with sissy pillows. Roll up your clothes. Honestly, try it tonight. It feels just the same as a pillow. only different.
But seriously folks....
I learned so much from my dad.
Before I could own a car, I had to take auto shop in high school. Everyone should be able to gap a plug, change the oil and rotate tires. Right. Because that's my hobby now on Saturdays, dad.
I know how to pay bills first and play later. I know how to be honest and return lost wallets full of money. I know how to help out the people I love and the ones I don't.
I know how to be strong and make amends.
I know I'm named after my dad and it builds character to have a boy's name with the initials BJ in high school because 'you know who your REAL friends are'.
I know how to be nice to my kids' friends and run off the dead weight. Parents are such a good judge of character. Trust your instincts.
I know that ketchup is not allowed on steak.
I know that Marty Robbins sings pretty songs, El Paso is a fun place and hot sauce should be...well, hot.
I know that driving with the air conditioner on and the windows down is not a good idea. Because it wastes moneyyyyyyy, that's why.
I know how to find piñon nuts in a tree. I know what squirrel tastes like.
I know that Santa is real.
I know what a first down is thanks to many armchair afternoons spent next to my dad packed tight like a baby sardine in his recliner. I also know who the dumb bastards are.
I know you can't 'soar with the eagles if you're going to hoot with the owls'.
I know they won't buy the cow if the milk is free. I know. I know. I know. All my friends in high school know that, too. Since it was my dad's way of saying good bye on Friday nights when I had a Blazer full of girlfriends heading downtown to make the drag. Hearing my mother's voice fading in the summer nights...." For crying out loud, Bill, they aren't livestock..."
I know my dad doesn't enjoy digging holes or getting dirty but he made a flower bed for me at a house where my kids grew up.
I know he doesn't like scalloped potatoes but he ate them every year at my house for Christmas and told me they were 'super'. (I only learned this a couple years ago...he told me with a very shy and apologetic voice..."Jos, I'm sorry, but I really don't like scalloped potatoes) whaaaaat the what? Reeeealllyyy?
I know how to fight to live. I know how to be nice to caregivers and thank the nurses. One of the last things my dad said to anyone was when he asked his nurse if there was anything he could do to make her job easier. Yes, she cried.
I know pocket aces are pretty wonderful. I know you tip your dealer.
I know how to die with dignity. And grace. And a grateful, brave heart.
Farewell is not good bye, dad. Please save me a seat.
I know I'll find you sitting next to a bottomless pot of Starbucks and an unlimited supply of Chapstick with a royal flush in your hand.
I thank God every day for giving me a dad like you.